I have one last treatment to go through. I kicked PA out for not helping in the hairiest (baldest) of times. I moved in with my folks to have someone around during the scariest of moments.
I'm scared of the next one. The last one I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking that if I fell asleep, I'd die. I kept hearing cracking noises, and if anything moved, I saw tracers just like I did when I tripped in highschool/ early college. The first one I thought of death. The second I just thought sucked. This one I actually thought I was dying. That's a weird feeling. I don't want it ever again.
I couldn't take care of PinkZilla. I needed someone in the medical field around me. PA was smoking crack that whole time completely oblivious to what was going on in his home. This why we're at my folks. It's temporary (2 weeks more). I know you Goddesses would've helped if you could, but I kept thinking that at 11:30 on a Saturday night either ya'll be out or asleep with your children. It would've been hard to find someone able to come over. So no guilt trips please!
I'll be back out in good old Lawrence soon. I come out almost everyday. I literally have no energy, but that won't stop me from getting in my yard for short amounts or starting a project sitting down. It was good to see the Goddeses and their friends that I saw this weekend. It really cheered me up. Thanks.
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Out of the cracks in the sidewalk…
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. A. A. Milne
Out of the cracks in the sidewalk…
A just a few Goddesses...
enarda synopsis
- Enarda
- I'm an introspective giggler of the details, a cancer survivor, a single mom, and I like weeds that flower blue. I create in my garden and in my studio. Like all women, I am complex and carry baggage that's light as a feather. My life's theme is "Always look on the bright side of life". complete with whistle.
6 comments:
I love you very much, and was so happy to see you this weekend! You look so freakin' beautiful!
You are so much stronger than you realize.
I know the bad moments are really, really, bad. I wish they weren't. But they are. And yet, you're still walking and talking -- flippin that attitude this way and that. Smiling. Laughing. Daring anyone to try something!
You are one of the major heros of my story.
xoxoxoxoxo
I wish I could help you.
All I can do is think about you and talk about you and be amazed at you.
If there is something I can do, I'll do it. Doesn't matter when or where. I'd call you, dammit. No matter what time, if I needed you.
Love you, my gooey center.
PS I did plant the hybiscus and they are thriving.
Everyone says "Just pick up the phone", but it's really freakin' hard to do! I had one friend who just wormed her way in the door, regardless of whether I wanted her or not. She dragged my ass to the hospital when it was necessary, and watched over me when I was home depressed, and was awesome in that respect. But the fact is, I leaned heavily on my parents and 3 main best friends. They all had to do more than their share, someone else *could* have helped, but I only wanted them. So call if you can, but don't feel guilty if you just can't. It's just the way the whole shitty deal goes. Nights are particularly hard, yes?
Gypsy is an awesome friend. And yes. The nights are the toughest.
I love you ladies!
I'm thinking about you. Let me know when/where/how you think I could help.
It will be glorious when you feel better!
You are beautiful.
Can I help you this weekend? What's going on with you? Drop me an email or a call!
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