Pinkie Sponge Zilla

It's been a long tim since I've blogged about kids. I think today is the day. I will now start with the obligatory Mom's Praise for Her Offspring. Shouldn't that be "Outspring"? Or "Squeezes So Hard Your Eyeballs Go Cross"?

My children have great patience while I have lost mine.

Their best friend is a child that I am going to refer as Spongebob because he IS THAT ANNOYING. Ok. I have a heart as cold as ice. Puppies and kitties don't make me melt. Babies scare the bejeebus out of me. Butterflies are ok though.

Spongebob is one of those children that makes at least 4 or 5 attempts at eating your food each and every time he walks through your frontdoor. I can't afford to feed him I wish I could, but right now I just cannot. My cold, unfeeling heart is showing to some of you while to others I just appear pragmatic.

Spongebob also makes loud grating arghs, urghs, grrs, and raspberry noises constantly. He is incapable of refraining from making those sounds. I'm noise sensitive, and when I listen to music, I don't want hear Spongebob's weird gutteral utterences. I'm stressed out, wound tighter than kite string. The English don't even come close. So when I need down time listening to drunken alternative country or smooth world music composed to the sounds of a river, god damn it that's all I want to hear!

I love to watch the kids dancing. Pinkie and Zilla listen to the music's melody and rhythm and create interpretive dances for our amusement. Spongebob is a different story, and I have to admit right now I'm laughing about his antics. He saw the kiddos dancing and thought it was hilarious which brought out a torrent of arhgh-ha-ha-ha-arrhg's. For some reason they always get friends who don't dance as a recreation and their reactions are always so funny.

Spongebob stuck his tongue out and started contorting his body in a fashion that just a few hundred years ago would have had him burned at the stake for being possessed by demons. He was making the Noises too, drowning out the stereo. At the time it annoyed me because the music is what was inspiring my own children to move and we couldn't hear it because of him. I made everyone leave the room so I could work on my project in the peace and quiet of the song "Fuck this Town". I know I was tired. There's no other excuse.

So onto the part where I discuss what seems to me an infinite surplus of patience that resides in my children's souls. Those two people that I brought forth into this world are amazing to me. They accept and love folk for who they are regardless of "differences" that might be there. They are "long suffering". I learned when I was a child that that attribute was a virtue. I lost it somewhere along the line, but I have two role models that live me to take my cues from.


As a side note...they just turned on Spongebob Squarepants.