Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I despise crushes. Always have. It is especially hard if when You get them, you revert a stuttering, spitting monkey trying to muddle your way through a two word long sentence that doesn't make sense. looks crazy. sounds crazy. must be crazy (watch for flying poop). Crushes go right along with my distaste for romantic comedies. I laugh at absurdities, but not at painful attempts at love making or emotional misconnecting.

One bit of advise to all you divorcees out there who are hormonally looking at everyone around you:

The crush should never be anyone from the ex's family. It looks as if you just don't want to get it outside of that family. Bad. No, technically it's not incest. It's just...not right in the head. It's creepy, and not in the good way that my current Condition is. There's a song out there that says "she don't think straight". Aye. No no. Not me, grasshopper!

So. How did this immature and confusing woman get over her schoolgirlish crush? I got an email from the current Condition. And I automatically get giddy and silly. (icky feelings) I start to think about our wonderful weekend watching puppets and riding bikes where it took two days of no bike riding so my ass'd stop hurting. Yes, bike riding for all you dirty minded beauties!

Then it hits me again.
"Oh no! Damn crush!"
You know I think I say that to myself everytime.

At least this one has been built up with talking and not just "relaxing". I can tell this one's ok. I can talk to Condition. He thinks I'm sane and interesting! Whatta weirdo!

Now back to that proverbial schoolgirl chalkboard.

4 comments:

Rikki said...

aw, he's a good crush to have, though.

gb said...

I agree. And frankly, I LOVE crushes. They're simultaneously painful and exhilarating. Can't eat. Can't sleep. Skin on fire. As well as other places. Nothing reminds me more of the powerful connection between the body and the mind. Martha and the Vandella's got it just right singing: "It's like a heatwave! Burning in my heart. Can't keep from cryin'. Tearin' me apart!" I still get little chilly willies up and down my spine at the professor's little email offerings. I'm glad to hear the Condition's doing the same for you.

Enarda said...

You are right about the painful exhilerated feelings that crushes give you, GB. I just don't like the sputtering troglodite that I become. It reminds me of my gawky, bucktooth braceface junior high days with my badly permed hair and oddly shaped just-reached-puberty body and incessant giggling. blech. not the good old days!

Rikki, are you putting in a plug for the Condition?

Megan Stuke said...

I love crushes. I hate what they make me do and say (blah blah blahbety stutter, stupid comment, inappropriate comment, stutter, blah), but at the end of the day I like the rush and if the outcome is positive -- even for just one night -- it's well worth the stuttering idiocy I forced myself to do.

I just try not to do it too often.