This morning I listened to a Hindi discussing the general terms of Karma. I have been having doubts about this spiritual belief because of recent personal events and political realities (Pres W Regime and their crazy antics). Why would all this shit fall on me, Minizilla, and Pinky? I kept thinking that our little trio didn't deserve crap. And why did Conditions outside our house seem so lucky? What was It?

Last night I read Twain's short story of The Good Little Boy. The boy always did what good little boys in his Sunday school books did except he always got hurt or in trouble instead of rewards and praise. He also wondered when he'd die because the boys in the books all died....

I laughed outloud at the end and had to refrain from reading it to the Pinkzilla. It was too graphic and I've just come to realize that my Minizilla is VERY ATTENTIVE and VERY QUICK. I just thought the Boy was a space cadet floating in his own world. Sneaky Pete! Pinky just hollers through every book I read to her, so I think her comprehsion of litrature is lacking.

Anways the moral of the story seems to coincide with my doubting karma lately. If you're good all the time you still can get shit on. How if cause and consequence exist does that work here? I try to keep off others' toes, but mine seem bruised up.

Well the Good Boy was pretty much a Nag and Goody-Goody to everyone else. It was his just desserts. Ok there is my bad karma. My darkness allowed me to laugh at a small lad and 15 dogs going up in a blaze of glory. Hallelujah!

I have to admit some feelings that I expressed about the Ex are not nice at all, but that should be allowed. Negative attitudes and holy-rolling finger pointing not to mention a good ole pity party!

This is how it ties in with my philisophic quandry. I think karma works with attitudes making it seem like everything is all dumb luck or good Karma. I have noticed how opitimistic and lucky Condition is, and I get envious. I know that one has to work towards wanted goals, and things aren't as good as I would care for them to be, but it has worked out without things getting too outta hand (my mother would disagree that my house is not out of hand). I keep forgetting the good karma that has ekked my direction and am entirely grateful for it.

So to end this rutted blahg, I have to say that I still have a small belief in Karma, but of course with the grain of salt that can be afforded with the realization that it's all how you look at it. Because after all I akin religious dogma to morphin and a band-aid. It doesn't take care of the real problem but it feels good anyway.

Let's all hug now. AHHH.