It's been a long time a-coming

It's been a long time since I've had to deal with any normal women's issues. ahem. Yes, that is to say PMS. I even forgot how to deal with the whole "issue". I looked at the lady products as if they were European plug-ins or something. Yaaa! What do I do? What do I do? I felt like my old 13 year old self unsure of what the body was doing. And what in the world was I supposed to do with it?! Was there a manual? I just knew the Judybat was hiding it from me.

That's my big news. Flo came. She's just laughing at me and telling me to eat my grits. I don't like grits. They're messy. So is Flo, but I don't think she cares.

I have very mixed emotions about her. I feel "normal" again, but goddamn it...I didn't like her in the first place no matter what different boyfriends told me. I dated a few fellas that for some reason got turned on by her. yuck. sorry. I won't repeat that. BUT what freaks me out more is that I don't know if the drugs are working to keep the cancer from being fed by the estrogen that is still being produced in my body. I don't have bc anymore, but it's a precautionary step to keep any miniscule cells at bay.

I would go through stints of not wanting to have the little egg producers reside in my body anymore then something would happen, and I'd get baby fever for some insane reason. Very confusing. even for me, and I KNOW I'm a very complex person. Some would say wishy-washy. Others would say flakey. Still some would imply bi-polar. Whatever. I have my reasons for my actions. Right now it's because of hormones.

The funny thing is that my coworkers knew what it was. The day after I made brownies at 11 pm, I was mindlessly cleaning and getting very, very cranky over the colossal mess that keeps growing in my office-esque room. They made me Tension Tamer Tea. I also got mental hugs, a few pieces of chocolate, and a few jokes aimed at me. I deserved those.

Now it's Saturday night, and what I think I really need and what I'm going to give myself tonight is wine.