I have never thought that getting an animal stoned or drunk was funny. It's slightly sick. I do know of animals that steal beer or wine, but to purposefully get them silly is just kinda wrong. If it happens on accident though...It can end up with some pretty funny results.

So we all know I'm chemo. (Blah blah get on with it) I didn't realize how sick I would get on this shit. I don't like taking meds for any reason. So this is a true lesson of how to put away my stubborn side and allow for some comfort. I'm all about comfort now. And it's only been 1 week. So meds natural or not are being consumed. I thought that maybe I'd have to be wary of Personal Assistant what with his love of meds natural or not. I found that he was not my biggest problem.

I have an adorable chihuahua/toy pincer mix. She's brown/tan colored and shaped like a large sausage or football complete with itty-bitty legs for running and a tiny tiny muzzle for LOUD yipping and pointless nipping. She is my constant companion (borderline stalker), guard dog, and vacuum cleaner. I apologize to each of my friends who have felt her wrath.

"Chika" is a binge eater. If she can't find food she will eat paper, toiletpaper, paper towels, etc. She has been known to scarf down the eyes, noses, and insides of my children's much beloved but very vulnerable stuff animals. This time she headed for another item. One that holds more importance than any sentimental toy could offer at this moment in the 4 house.

I was on my way out to work when I decided I should probably put the meds out of reach of any curious child. Like that was important because they stay away from my stuff anyways. I just had a feeling. I went to my nightstand and looked...all over...my room...hmm. Damn fucking mutt. I walked into Pinkie's room and looked under her bed, Chika's favorite munchie hideout. I found a tiny corner of wrapper from one of my natural meds. That sausage with legs ate one! wrapper and all! OOOOO! I'm gonna shish kabob that dog one day!

I hobble downstairs (no energy, lots of nausea, on chemo) and start to walk out the door when I notice she's sitting in a sunny spot in the dining room looking very out of sorts. "Serves you right, damn dog." I hobble off to work. Dumb. I should have stayed not just because my co-worker said I looked like shit, not because I felt like shit, but because my dog through my negligence was WAY too fucked up to be left alone! Priorities? Where are they?

I got home and was greeted by the ever energetic Chile with jumps and yips and licks, while from Chika I received a rather shaky head nod. Stoned bulgy-eyed dogs that can barely keep their eyes open are hilarious. I let them out like a good owner, but like a bad owner without their leashes. Chika quickly sprawled out literally in the middle of the road. She looked like road kill. She only batted an eye when I picked her up and plopped her down by the front door. From there the Regal Sentinal of the neighborhood could only jiggle her head a bit, stand up on two front legs, and then immediately drop back down to her place on the ground. She was like his for the whole day. I would intermittantly curse her admidst my giggling at her.

I had been wondering how to cure her of her indulgent eating habits, and I think that this might be the way. I just hope that she did actually learn HER lesson and stops trying to eat every little thing she can get a hold of. That's the intellectual side of me. The other side of me is still cursing her especially when I'm sitting next to the toilet losing my cookies or having a hard time stomaching a bowl of Rice Krispees.